bluelily

You know, in my case this bonding has been completely irrational on my part, I had never had such an illogical relationship. With other guys we had a lot in common, things to talk about, we were friends as well as lovers. But with xabf I did not even like him most of the time, so it was (and is) very confusing that there was such a strong attraction.

Anyway Eauchiche you are right about the addiction of relationships, I had some kind of despair and craving kicking in after I was faced with xabf again. Actually I think what triggered me most was his birthday sms, it must´ve been like going without a drink for months for an alcoholic and then taking a sniff again. The only thing that makes me calm down (a bit) is thinking that this message of his was a way to bait me and find out if I was willing to be his enabler again. Not sure if that´s true but he´s so manipulative that I find it hard to believe he would just randomly send me a birthday wish after no contact for so long. I mean he would only send people messages like that if he was looking to gain something from it.