zoso77

Hey...

I am so sorry. This is awful, and it's especially awful to find out in the way that you did AND during this time of year. I'm not sure if this will be of any help or comfort, but I'm going to say it anyway.

When we're dealing with people such as your husband, one of the things we need to remember is we cannot take their behavior personally. And that's because in this case, your husband is an exceptionally sick man doing exceptionally sick things. It may feel clichéd to say, He's an addict, and it's what addicts do, but the reason it's clichéd is because it's true.

Been there, too. Don't wait on this. Do it ASAP.

I bought a ring for my AXGF as a birthday gift. When we broke up, she left it at my door. I waited for one of my buddies to come over before walking outside and dropping the ring in a sewer. It radiated evil, in my thinking, so the sewer was the perfect place for it. Mind you, I'm not recommending you do something similar. But I do understand that you're associating this ring with him, and with his betrayal of you, that ring is an unpleasant reminder of him. So perhaps you can take it off and put it in a safe place where you don't have to look at it and, when you're ready to, you'll decide what to do with it.

Here's the good news. You will get over this. Why? Because you're much stronger than you realize, and you know and understand exactly what your husband is. The hours, days and weeks to come are going to be a challenge, Nelly, so I'm not going to (to quote a line in Top Gun) blow sunshine up your ***. There is no ducking what's about to happen. There will be moments where it will feel unbearable. So the first thing you'll have to do is decide that, yes, you will get through this, and then hunker down and ride out the storm. Do what you need to do in order to do this. And remember, Nelly, we've got your back.