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Old 12-08-2016, 07:28 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
FireSprite
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
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Originally Posted by letitend View Post
I can relate SO MUCH to this. My xA tried to make me think something was wrong with me. He projected such a negative image of myself onto me that i ATE and ATE and ATE. That was how I tried to find joy, was thru eating. I thought I was nothing, worthless.

Everyone else in my life (bosses/friends/family), literally EVERYONE has always said what a hard worker I am. Other words to describe me honest, compassionate, giving, lovable, funny, bright, smart, beautiful. Yet, this ONE person who I should mean the MOST to literally gaslighted and projected onto me until I had ENOUGH. All of us, are enough. We might not be compatible with someone, but nobody ever deserves to be treated with disrespect.
Again, word-for-word, this is my experience. Recovering from emotional eating disorders & especially binge eating as well. This is where *my* addiction as an ACoA came out sideways, IMO. When RAH came out about his secret drinking & started AA, I gained something like 15 lbs in 2 weeks as an emotionally defensive way of layering extra protection around my physical body.


Originally Posted by thousandwords53
I am almost 2 years in, recovering from binge eating/food for comfort. I've lost almost 90lbs and regained my true personality back after many years very unhappy/unhealthy. This is also when I started to really value myself and realize something wasn't right in my life.

Now this works against me, as my confidence and appearance has improved drastically, he feels insecure and threatened. I do not have an ego, but I am truly happy with myself. And it scares him.
In the last year & a half I've dropped about 40lbs & many sizes & worked on my Whole Life Recovery - I got sick of all the "reasons" hanging like albatross around my waistline & hiding in the corners of my mind.

I'm like a broken record on this but reading a lot of Brene Brown's work during that time also had a huge impact on me..... I know I was ready & open to change & she relays info in a way I can truly to relate to, so it helped. I got some on audio & streamed it while I power-walked, some on CD & listened in the car, some I just read. Her work helped me to let go of perfectionism, body shame, blameshifting & emotionally hiding. I highly recommend even just watching her TED talks if you haven't already.

You ladies are doing phenomenally!
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