In my first post I did not explicitly respond to a part of the OP that I meant to because it really spoke to me:
Wanting sober to be normal.
It can be. It is, for me. I'm just a person, and I happen not to drink. I work hard at the emotional work etc to support that choice, but truthfully....it's just my life. In that light....as the BB says....I have ceased to struggle, against anything, including alcohol. Sure, I make effort to keep this true, but now....it's cool and all to celebrate milestones- and I proudly got my last chip (9 mo) and will get a year and multiples - but my immediate desire is to move right on along and go about my day. Because being sober is just what I do.
In this sense, being sober CAN be .... a big not-big deal.