so let me get this right, in order to shake yourself out of your idealized visions you had of your EX...............you went to FB????? and are now giving all the photos and updates a forensic autopsy.....even down to assuming that his father MUST be paying for his creative writing class......
i think you need to work in living in YOUR here and now, YOUR reality, and not all the fluff you make up to fill in the blank spots.
The thing that confuses me is that I see this facade of a big, strong and secure man, while underneath there is a huge void and insecurity. I can see now that I was attracted to his (non existent) strenght. I still wish he would be that man, not just pretend to be like that
this is called projection. you are projecting ON to others the things you wish and dream of. you STILL want to believe or make a believable enough lie that he IS that guy.
so about that NO CONTACT thing............