Married to an addict in denial
This is my first thread, and my first attempt to reach out for advice and help. I've been so alone in this.
I recently got married to the first guy I ever loved. We were together 8years ago crazy in love, but I wasn't aware of his xanax addiction. It all went to **** when he broke his elbows and got prescribed Vicodin which eventually evolved into xanax bars. I put my foot down at that point and told him to stop and gave him space while I stayed at a friends (we had our first place together) and he got his ex to come over and have sex with him. I walked In on them naked in bed and left and moved to ny.
8 years later we start talking again and I gave him another chance I felt like. Yet again unaware that he is still a xanax addict. I left my moms house because of a bad step parent situation and he offered me a place to stay. It's been such an unhealthy relationship man, his dad enables him because his dad gets prescribed the xanax, and he is already a huge daddy's boy. So it's been months of crazy moods from every other day or week taking a hand full of xanax. I got pregnant with our boy, we got married, slowly but surely he recognizes he is an addict, it has been horrible all the lies, and having not a clue what's going on. we have gotten through about 3 months of him not taking any pills.
We went to his dads house yesterday to visit, his dad is obviously zonked out on his med, his sister (also an addict in the midst of losing her daughter and doing time for a dwi) is home recovering from a car wreck, aka has pills. We get home as soon as he hits the couch he's out.
Today, he got so pissed off at me over a petty misunderstanding to the point he is in my face screaming, jacks me up yelling, drags me to a chair, and threatens multiple times to take my son from me.
I'm at my wits end, he insists he hasn't taken anything, told me he had 8 beers at work. I feel like I've been so blind to it for so long I can't believe anything he says. It starting to make me feel like am I desperate for staying with him. The past 3 months he has been clean have been great, but today it's like nothing has changed.