Your mom speaks into your life when she doesn't have all the facts of your situation. Do you want to invest in her as a full friend and confidant?
Or does she just not get it even with the little you tell her?
Maybe you ought not to think out loud to her too much anymore--unless you are willing to sit down and give her full descriptions of your different situations.
If she seems to make everything about her, then maybe just relate to her on that level and no higher. Do you know what I mean?
"Don't cast your pearls before swine."
NOT that your dear mom is a swine in any way!
But just maybe she's not the right person to think out loud to.
Did I get the gist of what you intended to share?
Maybe I pinpointed advice on your mom improperly--but I guess my main point is to watch your words. You can't necessarily think out loud and not have people want to parry. If you say x, people can't resist chiming in with y. It's just human nature.
Maybe you could vent fully before you write on threads into a private journal or a blog. After the detailed venting, the main complaint or insight would pop out at you, and you could post that.
I'm sorry if I just did what you ask people not to do with your mom episode!