Nel- my heart goes out to you. I am that alcoholic. It took complete alienation, being disowned and NDE's X 4 for me to wake up and decide to join the universe. Frankly my family are better off with me (in that hellish way) in their lives. You need to think about yourself. I can almost guarantee your partner is not thinking about you- except as a way of getting a free ride on everything you offer. A free smorgasboard. Food, a place to sleep, money, transport and whatever else maybe? You need to think about yourself for your physical safety and emotional/spiritual well being.
My thoughts, prayers and support for you and prayers for you partner. Keep posting, PJ