Hi Margaret,
You CAN choose to stay with him and support him in his recovery, but you SHOULD start preparing for the worst. Start documenting everything. Pretend you are already in the midst of an ugly custody battle, because any day now something absolutely terrible could happen and you'll have to fight for your children's safety. And what you'll see around here is that no matter how many years of love and loyalty we give to our addicts, if we reach the point of "enough" and try to save our kids they will come out swinging and say terrible lies to try to paint us as the villains. I NEVER would have thought my ex would say the things he did about me. He even used my going to college against me, saying I did it because I "didn't care" about the kids and wanted to get away from them- that he was their full-time caregiver (more like he stuck them in front of the TV with a bag of chips while I was away for a few hours at a time). He even brought up my high school suicide attempt from 12+ years ago to make me seem mentally unstable. I had very little actual evidence of his drug use and insane behavior because I never thought I would need it. His drug problem was always just one ultimatum away from disappearing and then we would be a happy family again.
I should have full custody. My kids are not safe with him. I am still working on it, but I screwed up by trusting a drug addict.
Be careful.