Hi Liz...
Something I found out about myself these last few months...
I met a guy who has been through therapy for his own issues, and who still goes regularly because he feels he keeps growing. The conversations I've had with this man are incredible, because he's deeply committed to knowing himself. He fully understands things like SR and Alanon, even though he hasn't needed them in particular. My point here is that my interactions with him are on such a different level than most men I've met, and I realized that if the time comes that I'm in another relationship, for me, I need that to be part of it. He doesn't shy away from understanding and discussing emotional topics.
On my bucket list is someday having a romantic relationship where, emotionally, I'd be broken if he died. I'd survive, but feel like a deep part of me was taken...I think that's so beautiful, and I've never experienced it (in a healthy way). Not a codependent thing, not a financial or convenience thing, but because someone who knew me and supported me on that deepest level was gone. (Then I'd ask him to let me die first lol.) I'm not sure if I'm meant to experience it in this life, and I may not be ready yet, but I've decided I will accept nothing less in that department.
I am dating right now (my, how life changes), but it's interesting dating with the perspective that I'm not sure I want someone in my life every day just yet. It's also interesting to see that there are really tons of good men out there, who for whatever reason may not be a fit for me. That doesn't make them less good.
I don't think you should quiet that voice. In my experience, every time I've battled with that voice in my head, I've later learned I should have listened. There's something real here. Kudos to you for staying honest with yourself and thinking through things.