Originally Posted by
MissPerfumado 
Thanks Ariesagain.
Actually, the parameters for the date have already been set. I know the person and have been attracted to him for some time - I just didn't realise he would be open to starting something because I thought he was conventionally attached. Turns out he is attached, but open to something, and crucially that is part of his relationship dynamic.
It's not the physical intimacy that concerns me but the emotional intimacy. The emotional generally follows the physical and is difficult to regulate.
This choice of relationship is about honesty, communication and maturity. It takes a lot of self-regulation and is not easy, but can be very rewarding. For a long time I have had a vision of maintaining that certain lifestyle which I have only ever attained for short periods of time. I wonder if I can attain it with sobriety. I wonder if I am up to it.
Hmmm. I was going to say 'hey don't future trip. Its just a date'. But its sex with a man who is in a (open, I guess?) relationship. Can you walk before you run?
You seem to have a lot of questions and they are based on past experience. You are concerned that keeping the relationship just about sex has been tough, for you or for the other partner? You are concerned that you are dodging intimacy and have come up with a really creative way of doing so?
I dunno. This sounds toxic to me but that is of course based on my past experience and my values around relationships. I don't judge what you do at all. But if you aren't completely solid in how this works I'd slow down.