Dating after 1 year of sobriety - fearful of complications
The conventional wisdom is to wait a year before getting into a new relationship. As luck would have it, I'll be a year sober in a couple of weeks (yay me) and I have a date lined up, on the one-year anniversary. I didn't plan it ... it just turned out that way.
I'm hesitant about it all. I don't want to jeopardise my sobriety and I have some concerns about it.
I know SR folks are incredibly non-judgmental so I hope you will all continue to be non-judgmental about what I'm going to say.
The main reason I have concerns about dating again is that my relationships tend to be complicated. For the last two decades, I have explored alternative relationship styles. I am a straight, single woman, but to put it simply, I don't believe I am monogamous and am not seeking a monogamous relationship with a monogamous partner. (I must stress that I don't believe monogamy is right for me, and I certainly understand most people choose it and are very happy with that choice.)
I have my reasons for pursuing this, grounded in my philosophical beliefs.
In the past, however, as my drinking got worse and worse, my relationships became chaotic. Non-monogamous relationships are complicated, at the best of times. Throw drinking in the mix and it's a s##t show.
I still have the same basic philosophical beliefs that led me to what I guess you could call an "alternative lifestyle", but I don't want to get into the same complications that arose when I was drinking. I hope with better, sober communication, I can avoid the complications.
I don't know. Part of me is also scared that I am acting out addictive behaviour or avoiding intimacy, without admitting to myself that that's what is really going on, and that I am risking my sobriety pursuing this.
I suppose I am looking for some views and input, maybe so I can explore this issue here and figure out if this is really going to be a risk to my sobriety.
Finally, if you don't agree with my choices/beliefs and wish to express that, I'm ok with that but would just ask for any such expression of disagreement to be respectful.