Originally Posted by
steve-in-kville 
I see what you are saying, and to a point I agree. Its almost like I'd have to train myself not to care about that situation anymore.
Make sense?
No. In order for me to get closure on the past year of my life - the end of not only a job assignment that gave me purpose, but of multiple relationships around which my life revolved - I had to look at WHAT HAPPENED. Not who did what. Not what happened to me. Just what happened. Okay? I am abundantly clear on that. LoL.
For example, I attracted a married man. I mean I actively engaged him, over a period of a year. This relationships existed outside of my head, its continuity relied on him being open to receive my energy and my advances and he had to entertain them and give me something back. There were TWO participants, without whom, nothing would have had the potential of happening.
Who is to blame? You could say both, but does that serve to provide closure? No. We were both there, we both did wrong. Why? Because we were lonely and both alcoholics, so that meant we were self-centered to the extreme. We gave and took what we needed from each other. Our needs were valid, albeit sickly. The situation wasn't right, but I can't dwell and beat myself up. I'm human. I take lessons, I decide not to do what I did again and I move forward.
He may never move on.. He's still deeply an alcoholic. He's still deep in a troubled marriage. I'm not a factor in his life any more, but that doesn't mean he got resolution. It's none of my business if he blames me. He's free to feel that way. I know nothing of him now. So when I look objectively at the situation, at everything that happened in it, there's no blame to be assigned, there's no one to assign it to me. I'm sure not gonna assign it to myself.
Hope some of this helps, and if not, that's okay, too.