Originally Posted by
biminiblue 
I am super confused by this thread, but I remember him being very cute. Does he have an older brother?
Liz, you're okay. You'll figure all this out. Progress not perfection.
You had to go and point that out, didn't you? LOL!
Doesn't make it easier to point out his appearance because the man can barely touch me and I'm ready to hop in bed for a romp. Geez.
Yes, he has older brothers. All alcoholics. One sober. One waffling with sobriety here and there and another who's in complete denial. His older sister is 2 years sober after a serious stint in rehab. She and I met recently to talk about recovery and how my bf is in denial about the alcoholism in his family and how he refuses to see it as a disease, etc.
What SparkleKitty said really resonated with me. I was alone in my marriage and I thought I was emotionally ready to move on.
To answer what Redatlanta asked: what's really going on here? Well, to answer that: THE HELL IF I KNOW!
And, as Wisconsin said, we both might be really nice people, kind and considerate, and attractive, and responsible, etc....but that doesn't mean it's meant to be forever.
And, if he asked me to marry him, I'd say no. I'd ask to shelf the question to give me more time to figure out what it really is I want. And, therein is the problem. Until I learn how to communicate better, stick to boundaries, etc I can't see moving on into a marriage with anyone. I think he knows this intuitively and I wonder if that's why he's holding off emotionally. Who the hell knows what's going on in my head because I sure don't!
I believe he lives in financial fear of being taken advantage of by a woman. And, I live in fear of tying my rope to a sinking ship or to a buoy that just sits there and does nothing, never changing, and just bobbing along thinking everything's just fine. I believe we both have fear; it's just generated from a different place which might mean we're both emotionally unavailable in ways.
It's up to me to figure out how to confront, how to work through conflict, how to communicate without blame or manipulation or guilting someone, etc. I can do those things. He has called me out on it before and it's shameful to me that I use my XAH's tactics on my new man.
All lessons to be learned and as far as I know, God's giving me more time to work on them.