He sees it as me paying for 1/2 being fair, since my son basically lives here full time with us and his girls are only here 50% of the time. He said if/when my son goes to college or moves out, I won't be paying as much. that was our initial agreement. We did not set a dollar amount but I recently said he'd have to knock $200 off my rent, he agreed.
We have talked about how to become domestic partners and have briefly talked about setting up POA for each other's accounts and he is willing to add me as a beneficiary on his trust along with his children. He is actually the one pushing me for a more 'together' commitment in the form of this domestic partnership. I am the one who probably looks a deer in the headlights when the subject comes up and he will ask me, "I need to know if you're ok with this. This is a joint thing and the decision has to be agreed upon by you." HAHA, all we were doing was setting up a joint checking account but I was balking at it for some stupid reason. It's just a checking account that will hold $100 in it to just prove that we live together and are combining forces in some way to save money on our car insurance.
He knows I'd have to rent no matter where I went and the rent I pay him is equal to what I'd pay for a 2 bedroom apartment here in town. So, as of right now, I'm willing to agree to this because I'm either helping him pay his mortgage or I'm helping someone else.
He wants me to get started in my career and has talked about me buying a house for myself that is solely in my name that I can rent out or.....move into if I decide to dump his ass (his words). He's fully aware that I am on the losing end of things and we have talked about how to work through things by setting up domestic partnership.
I do not want to get married. It's not just him. So, if he's getting the milk without buying the cow, then I'm to blame for that because I have no interest in marriage. He talks about the future and years down the road. I am the one who runs scared when we talk of anything past 6 months from now. To me, life is uncertain and nothing ever works out the way I wanted it to, so I fear the future and I choose to not go there. I work hard at just staying in today, planning for the future career wise and doing the next right thing. That's it.
I think I'm still trying to get over my 20 year dysfunctional marriage and the idea of being a man's 'wife' or partner beyond the bf/gf label scares the crap out of me. My XAH made the word wife become a curse word to me. I was his property. The institution of marriage has lost it's shiny appeal to me and, although I believe in it and I believe it is a firm foundation for raising children, I really have no desire to go there again.