Originally Posted by BrendaChenowyth

Does anybody else find in sobriety they are just now learning how to socialize? Or better yet how not to?

I am now much more able to be myself, but I also am seeing that I have to hold back when I don't want to.. connect too far? I can't make eye contact with males just because that's how I wish to communicate, I can't be a toucher, I can't giggle all the time, I can't.. um.. have too much pep in my step? I tend to bounce. I am getting the wrong kind of attention from males because I'm coming on too strong. I have to curb my personality somewhat around males now. I never had enough of one to even get a man to notice me.. except in cases where the man carries around similar pain and sadness and is likely an alcoholic, too.

When I was a drinker and I was completely self-absorbed, I just never connected, never wanted to connect with other people.. Like on Friday I ended up sitting at the kitchen table with my step bro just cause he can carry on a conversation and shows an interest in talking to me, unlike my siblings.. I ended up leading him on that night, I could sense, and at one point he even asked if I wanted to go upstairs to watch a tv show. No. I hung out with him to alleviate my boredom and that was almost unfair to him but.. I am learning that I need to watch who I connect with and how.

I need female friends. I want female friends for the first time in my life. Women I can be myself around and talk to and have fun with. I never got that before, as in never understood the purpose for having female friends. I only looked at females in terms of reasons to feel insecure, and competitions for things. Why did I ever look at it that way? I like who I am and I like other people and I need more people in my life. AND I know I'm not gonna drive them away because I am emotionally stable!!!