I'm guessing his first wife not only didn't get her needs met, she grew tired of his controlling and inconsiderate ways. He's one sided and seeing he already lost a marriage and still has those qualities, change doesn't seem forth coming.
My ex husband was a selfish control freak and even thought he didn't drink or drug like my exbf, they shared certain qualities. The bf was far more kind, caring and loving and extremely considerate in the beginning of our relationship so I didn't see them at all of having some of the same qualities but as soon as drugs entered the picture that level of selfishness and inconsideration were equal and it was all about him, and sadly for a long time I allowed that, but I will never ever again.