I have another confession to make regarding my issues with my bf and most of it comes down to how we view finances. I wasn't going to insert this into this thread but maybe it will help people see that it's not just about my 'needs' not being met.
My bf has recently put $$ down to order a new Tesla. He did not discuss it with me, he didn't tell me he was even thinking of buying one honestly. He literally just sent me a text a few months ago that said, "Hey I put $$ down on the new Tesla but it probably won't be in until 2018." Great. Good for you. Congrats. He also currently drives a 2015 Jeep Grand Cherokee and owns a 16 year old Audi.
I have a 2012 Toyota Venza that I still owe $15K on. I was thinking about selling it and the bf wanted me to drive his Audi for a bit. It has recently been revealed to me that he wants me to pay for repairs that may come up when I drive it. Ok, fine, but why drive a 16 year old car that is bound to have issues instead of driving my 2012 reliable Toyota that still has a factory warranty until it hits 125K miles or until August of 2018 (I bought an extended warranty program when I purchased the car before my divorce)? I then asked him what would happen if the Audi's repairs were beyond the replaceable value of the car and he said we'd scrap it and I'd have to buy another junk car or get something else until the Tesla came in. Hmmm, what about the Tesla??? That was not on my agenda nor on my radar.
Turns out, he thinks I should help pay for the Tesla when he gets it because it's silly for us to have more than 2 cars. So, I got mad and basically said, "You aren't allowed to spend my money! I never agreed to a brand new car or splitting those costs with you nor did you ask me if that would be something I'd be interested in!" He looked shocked and felt that it was a mutually beneficial arrangement. Umm, for who?
Now, mind you, he makes 3x the amount of salary that I make. I am starting a brand new career(currently studying for my licensing exams for my series 7 to become a financial advisor). There are no guarantees that I will succeed. I only have so much in savings and I'm getting more and more frustrated about his attitude regarding MY money. I felt that he made a unilateral decision and didn't consult me and he felt that I was overreacting.
Also, I pay half the mortgage here even though our incomes are vastly different, but I know I agreed to it and I'm working hard to accept that I should have negotiated things differently or got a written lease ahead of time to make sure I was covering myself properly and taking care of my finances better. I still save about $400 a month vs what i was paying when I was renting my old house, but I still feel like he could have made a more fair offer to me.
Sigh......so this was part 2, lol!