[QUOTE=laurie6781]No Dremygirl it's not called "love" its called "ENABLING."
If your husband wants recovery, he MUST do this himself, from picking up the phone to call AA or NA to find meetings to web surfing and asking around to find "inpatient" or "outpatient" rehab.
Thanks for your opinion but WHOA - easy does it with the quick to judge
enabling response!
Who ever said HE did not pick up the phone himself?
Not me!!! Already done the enabling thing myself. Been there - done that. Enabled for 8 months - the only 8 months I ever lived with him. And I moved out. Many enable for 20-20-40 years, I was lucky and got into
Alanon and soon realized what I needed to do.
He is still my husband, we still speak and see each other on a modified
basis, but he has his own program. He went to outpatient all by himself and joined that program. He found AA meetings himsef. HE called
me and said outpatient is not enough, he needs more - he needs
inpatient. I did not do any of it - infact by not being there, I believe
it forced him to realize what he will lose if he continues to drink.
I happen to see a psychologist who specializes in alcoholism for me as
the spouse of an alcoholic. He suggested Four Winds to me for my husband and to my husband himself. All I did was ask a few people on here if they heard of it. I didn't call, he called to see if they accepted our insurance.
Once he gets a referall - on his own, he will call and make the
reservation himself.
I just asked if anyone heard of it. Sorry, don't agree with you,
that is not enabling and please don't be so quick to judge and define what others are doing. At times this can do more harm than good, as there
is never any one/absolutely correct way to do things. Many have
experience as recovering A's and children or spouses of A's - but
situations do vary. I have seen PROOF of this as so many people on
various boards went on and on about rock bottom, people not getting
help until such and such - but it simply isn't that black and white. I
am proof of that in my own situation.
I happen to feel that it is always good to know if others have
heard something about a particular place - period. It is not enabling.
(In my opinion) Thanks for your opinion though -
And thank you Kerry for the good luck!
