Originally Posted by
wanttobehealthy 
He is out of his god damned mind and the fact that he's raging at his CHILD for expressing to him that he has let her down, is a whole new level of psycho.
Never underestimate an alcoholic's ability to lose sanity when they are confronted about letting others down for failing to live up to their own word.
I can't recall if I ever went into specific detail about one of my own conversations of this nature with the ex A, but what came up during that conversation was that we were trying to save money for plane tickets to go visit her home country to attend the 1 year anniversary of her father passing away. I was carrying a tremendous amount of debt from our wedding, truck purchase, and multiple previous trips to her home country, so our agreement was that I would focus on paying those debts down and she would be able to save her income to afford our plane tickets. Then after the trip, we'd both double down on paying our debt off that was mostly in my name. The gist of the celebration is that the immediate funeral lasts for almost a full month of mourning, and then after a certain amount of time has passed they throw a celebration of the person's life, hire entertainers, etc. so that the deceased can 'pass over' to the next life. It's expected that all family members attend.
Anywho, she promised her mother that if her mother hired an expensive group of concert entertainers, she would pay her mother back to split the concert bill 50/50. Problem is, she developed an online shopping obsession on top of her partying habits and ended up asking to borrow money from her mother so that she could afford the plane tickets - after her mother booked the entertainers to put on a concert. So at that point she's putting the entire bill on her mother, as well as half the plane tickets for us to get there. In the meantime, I'm doing everything I possibly can to come up with the money to keep our debts under control while still paying my half of the immediate house expenses, including selling some of my personal possessions that were gifts from my own deceased grandmother in order to keep the household together, while she buys 5-10 articles of clothing/handbags per week through online shopping.
I was the jerk for bringing up the point that she was letting me and her mother down.
Addictions will do everything they possibly can to prevent an addict from feeling like they're responsible for anything that goes wrong in their life. That includes tearing down relationships with family members.