Marigold, alcoholism leaves us in a hopeless mental state. Don't buy into that illusion. It's false. Just stay sober and the feeling of despair will leave you. Total sobriety is nothing to fear. A gentle buzz is not necessary to feel normal. Trust me.
Give it time. That's the trade off. That's the key. In order to beat alcoholism you have to give sobriety a chance. The effort is worth it. Trust me.