Aug- I empathise. Been there- lots on line here about me. Have you thought of going to a doctor? The feeling alcohol gives is a lie- because alcohol is a nervous system depressant. So do not drink. Perhaps you need to do detox? Can you get to an AA meeting? Remember HALTS- hungry, angry, lonely, tired, sad. If you are hungry- eat and so on. Drink lots of water. Keep posting here. I read this, others will too. A problem shared is a problem halved. Try not to isolate. Avoid unsafe places and keep safe. Is there someone with you- or someone you can call? Keep posting and read stuff here. There are lots of threads with many stories from real people who have been exactly where you are now. Do not give into despair- you are not alone. PJ