A lot of people don't.. and a lot of us can't or couldn't because alcoholism and depression stunted, completely halted, our emotional growth, for years!
My Thanksgiving gathering didn't quite go as I envisioned it. We are not a drinking family, as in alcohol just isn't even a blip on any of our radars. So that wasn't an issue for me. I had plenty to do, between prepping, catching up with everyone, serving and cleaning up... I got to see family I hadn't seen in two years, my brother, his wife, and their 4 year old daughter, and my mom was a happy Grams.. I am not sorry I made the day happen.
I won't do it again. At least not for a long time. And okay... So you first look at your own expectations, were they realistic? We've never been a close family, we've always been introverts. I DREAM of marrying in to a big, loud, crazy Italian family where holidays are like an elaborate ballet with 11 women in the kitchen all cooking and laughing and carrying on 4 distinct conversations at once seamlessly, while the guys watch football or gab outside or whatever. I was not born in to that family.
I was a touch disappointed.. I think I just began to feel lonely doing the dishes. I don't hate washing dishes but that could have been a social activity, SOMEBODY could have offered to help.. My mom was with my niece, and her husband was talking with his son, and my brother and his wife.. On two occasions I walked back in to the living room to find her on his lap, him caressing her hand, in a non-sexual way. It was intimate and it made me uncomfortable. I felt like I was intruding IN MY OWN LIVING ROOM.
Why come if you're not going to interact and play and create memories.. Sigh.. I have solidified it for myself that we are just not that type of family. Even though I am grown, sober, mature and happy, and I care about and want to love my family, love just might not mean the same thing to them, and they just might not have equal motivations to extend themselves the other half of the way.
The old me would have gotten moody and created a really negative vibe. I had no interest in doing that. I still had fun, I just had to re-adjust my vision.
Just a thought dump.. I am beginning to think I should be keeping a journal. I gotta go to church and make some female friends.. look for the Italians who will introduce me to my future husband, so I can have my dream family holidays lol I will stop throwing my hopes and on the wrong people and set about creating what I want.