Glad you are back SeekingNewMe. I'm sorry you had to find out the hard way that even picking up one drink is never an option for us.
You do know what needs to happen though and you had 2 months sober so build on that. Hitting a meeting tonight sounds like a great idea too. Don't "hope" you don't break down ...make sure you don't. Remember, it's your choice..you get to decide if you are going to drink today or not.
Regarding your past and the abuse, i'm very sorry to hear that happened to you. Have you ever spoken to a therapist or counselor about it? Most of us have underlying issues we need to address once we get sober...they generally do not fix themselves.