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Old 11-20-2016, 06:32 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
letitend
Member
 
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 179
Originally Posted by ladyscribbler View Post
My experience was that by the time things turned physical many of these other behaviors were already pretty well entrenched. It's not like someone is going to punch you out on the first date. People don't understand the huge amount of manipulation and other abusive behavior that goes hand in hand with physical violence. It is a long process of destroying self esteem and tearing down someone's will and energy before that first physical blow is ever struck.
This all really resonates with me today. My xa was very controlling and manipulative. It is kind of like *duh* now. I am working my own side of damage control at the moment. My xa fit 7 out of 8 on the power wheel. He actually studies the subject of mind control, literally reads about it on the internet for hours on end. The reason he reads about has to do with his conspiratorial ideals, but I can't help but think he may have learned a thing or two and put it into practice. I pray for his new gf that it truly was just me he hated to treat me so bad. I wouldn't wish what I went thru with him on anyone.
It is going to take me some many more months of self-love to be able to get my self-esteem back to where it used to be after the run in with him.
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