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Old 11-19-2016, 01:21 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
sleepie
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Phoneix I have had many tests and that i show I know I have prediabetes like I said in the 1st post,.

I am really trying not to be anxious about this but all this back and forth with my a1c and then going from being non prediabetic while drinking, and after a short time of abstinence still being fine... and then only to get worse and become prediabetic after not a single drop of alcohol for 10 months... it scares me, worries me and also makes me feel like s*** that I can't be in the "Everything got better after I quit" club. It makes me feel horrible about myself and like my sobriety means nothing. I guess also since I have always been alone without family or a partner or spouse until pretty recently and have zero IRL support and nobody IRL who cares, it exacerbates that feeling of meaningless. I feel as if I am free falling into a void with no safety net, I always have and it's terrifying. I have never had anyone "there" for me, ever, in a way that was emotionally supportive, IRL.
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