5 days off antabuse
I've been on Antabuse since April 6, 2016. I stopped it for almost two weeks and on September 29, 2016 I relapsed and drank for about five days, then went back on it. I've been off of it for 5 days now and I just had two nips. Gotta say I don't believe the effects of the Antabuse have worn off completely. My face is hot and red as well as my neck and chest. Also having difficulty breathing but likely a combination of my asthmatic issues as well.
I'm not really sure why I am doing this to myself. I feel I am punishing myself and stuck in this cycle of destruction that is just too comfortable to not go back to, every now and then.
I think I'm losing myself and don't really know how to snap out of this funk. For what reason would I do this? Knowing the outcome will always be this.. The same cycle of mishap. My thoughts constantly circle back to the comfort, as well as the stresses, of being confined to a psychiatric ward. If only it was as easy to explain as a broken leg. The stigma attached to mental illness and addiction is brutally misunderstood. I need to find myself again.