Sending you a hug.
Alcohol dissolves resiliency, rational thought, and energy. So we're overwhelmed and exhausted and upset...so we reach for more alcohol...which makes it even worse. Sometimes I think a huge part of it all is simple sleep deprivation...when we try to sleep when we're drinking, we never sleep deeply or well. Over months and years, that damage adds up.
You have much too much on your plate, that's for sure. Good for you for carving out some time for self-care. At some point, if we don't, our bodies will just give out and we end up really sick.
Hang in there and give it time...oh and ice cream is your friend in those early weeks!