My worst moments in a while...
I want to cry and throw up.. I don't want to drink but I want to erase my mind right now.. I don't want to know what I know..
My drinking caused a situation that can't be fixed, but by me moving on from it.. and I will.. I work tomorrow and can't just leave people hanging, I have to go.. and maybe I won't have to see the man at all..
The married man, the alcoholic that I was obsessed with and was hitting on over the past year... Nothing ever happened but he knew I wanted him.. and his wife knew too... and his wife was accusing him of having an affair... and his wife was very unstable... and last Easter Sunday she tried to kill herself... and I just found out it was because she suspected he was having an affair... with me....
This is just the worst feeling... I know they had problems in their marriage with or without me but I just feel like I potentially destroyed a family because my AV locked sights on and dug it's claws in to yet another stand-in for my father and wouldn't let up...