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Eventually, one can get to a 'Force Field Of Disinterest' re: Drinking. I'm there. My Wife of 39 Years kept Drinking fairly hard early on in my Sobriety. PITA. Not because I wanted to drink again, but because putting up with her behavior was wasted energy I had to expend. Life's too short...
She's cut WAY back, and doesn't drink around me. She asked me to go with her back to Boulder CO for an Annual Party this Weekend where there's plenty of Drinking. I knew she didn't want to go alone, so I told her I'd go if she didn't drink [which she's been doing more of voluntarily]. She instantly shot back that she would not drink. So, long Weekend on. Easy peasy, actually. I refuse to be the only one not Drinking at a small Dinner Party here, or at Parties like the one on tap this Weekend. I owe that to no one. Period. You don't get what you don't demand.
This sort of agreement is our New Normal. I don't plan to deviate from this arrangement - achieved with some difficult moments - and that simply will not happen.
I'm very comfortable with my Sober Self. Any Drinking urges are long gone. It'll likely become a huge non-event in your Life as time goes on. We do a lot of separate 'stuff', and I would do more of that if she got militant, and had to drink around me again. People vote with their Feet.
She smokes 'uppy' Sativa Pot daily, and I could not care less. Some of that is for genuine Pain Management. This is our kinda compromise; easily done here in Pot-legal Colorado.
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