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Old 11-16-2016, 09:49 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Berrybean
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Yes. Drinkers are like crabs in a bucket. When one tries to escape the others tend to try to pull them back in.

My best buddy from my drinking days was similar. In the end I just avoided her for a while, then asked her if she fancied going shopping and for lunch. Which we did. Then I suggested a few other completely non-drinking activities and she was happy to do those. I've stopped going in the pub with her even if she says it'll only be for a couple. She just gets boring-pissed and gets on my nerves. I suppose she acts as a mirror to how I used to be as well, which isn't comfortable.

Some of our old drinking buddies will do other stuff with us, but it's no good waiting for them to suggest it, or expect them to choose that activity over drinking if it's at a time when they'd normally be boozing. I'd suggest maybe sorting out in your own mind what you'd like them to do with you instead of what you used to do, then ask /tell them and see what happens.

It's also worth starting to form a network of sober pals. Not to replace the old ones necessarily, but because they'll be able to support you in a way that active alcoholics and normies cannot.
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