Hi Kiki - welcome back
You've gotten a lot of good advice here and in the main thread.
To stay quit I had to really simplify things.
Nothing was worth me drinking again.
I had to take drinking off the table as a viable option.
Rather than me saying eff it (which really meant eff me) I had to learn that my well being was every bit as valuable as someone else's.
No matter what the problem was, no matter how many years I'd been carrying it around, if my only tool for dealing with that problem was drinking? I needed more tools.
I had people in my life who pushed my buttons too.
There's absolutely nothing I could do to make them change, but I went a long long way to changing the way I reacted to them.
If people make you angry, or make you feel less than, you can absolutely change that view with a little internal dialogue.
Even when you're angry on someone else's behalf like your son, you can absolutely learn to shut down that resentment anger and self destruct cycle.
The first step is not reaching for the easy remedy. Getting drunk solves nothing. The problem was always there when I sobered up.
Take drinking off the table as a viable option. It's not - nothing is worth destroying yourself for.
Find more tools - more support more ideas, more coping strategies
Don't just say I will...it's time to do. Take some action, and keep at it - this is a lifetime change.
some good starting points here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...f-respite.html
D