It's something that you have to decide for yourself.
For me, I can be around normal drinkers. Ones who have a few and still can maintain pleasant conversation and don't step out of themselves. I think you know what I'm talking about. When they begin to laugh louder and talk louder. That's a huge trigger for me because that WAS me. It brings me right back to the monstrosity of what I became.
You said your husband came home lit. Nope, I couldn't tolerate that, not in a million years.