I didn't love Al Anon in the beginning, but I sure needed it.
I have some experience with enabling family. My ex's parents probably meant well, but most of what they did was the opposite of help. His mom used to pick him up from jail or the ER and drop him back at our house, where he would without fail start drinking again. In retrospect, I'm sure they felt the same about me. I mean, I was living there and I couldn't keep him under control. His mom thought she had the magic power to manage him when he was drunk and got really frustrated when I failed at what she saw as my task to do that as well.
My ex was also very skilled at playing all of us off of one another, orchestrating fights between all of us to keep us from interfering with his drinking. Your AH is definitely manipulating all of you.
You can't control him, and you can't control their reaction to him. I was pretty much alone where we lived, hundreds of miles from my own family. His family was pretty much our whole circle, so it was isolating and scary when they turned against me.
I had to leave, protect my kids and detach from the whole bunch of them. His mom was irate, made crazy threats and even filed a false police report accusing me of assaulting her. She and her RA husband, who goes to AA and should know better but somehow doesn't, were going to enable my ex back to being a functional alcoholic and fight me for custody of our son. That didn't really work out.
They got a taste of what I'd been living with for years and couldn't deal with it after a couple of months. The last straw was when they told him they were going to quit giving him "grocery money" and just buy him food instead. He punched his mom and threatened to kill his dad.
Nothing I told them would have made them see the error of their ways. They had to learn their own lessons, just like I did.
I left my ex and moved home in September 2013. Three months later the kids and I had our best Christmas in 5 years. Peace, relaxation, no worrying about a drunken rage or having to call an ambulance for an adult who was drinking himself to the point to serious bodily harm. My ex didn't even try to call our son or even send a card. He didn't see the point of having a phone. Buying booze was more important.
I had gotten so used to living constant crisis mode, the chronic stress, always waiting for the other shoe to drop, that I had no idea how much difference it would make to be away from that.
I sent his parents a card with our son's school photo and some Al Anon literature, lol. They talk on the phone every couple of weeks and have visits in the summer and every other Christmas. I am cordial and on good terms with them. My ex has cut all of us out of his life and is likely still drinking and doing the same horrible behavior.
But that's not my problem.