Hi nands, great to see you!
This is an extraordinary and very real and inspiring thread. I had a good whack of stuff going in response, then lost the text as so often happens, blast it. So just want to say before I get ready for beddy byes: I relate to pretty much everything you've experienced (bar the highest-end hospital crises as you've suffered). I'm astounded by your resilience too.
I support your very realistic approach to the aftermath of drinking (combined with ageing - I'm 60, nearly 61) - many things will improve, many things MIGHT improve and then...some simply won't get (even) worse. It's a delicate balance going through each day learning to manage whatever's going on, without going bonkers . Each person's journey is as different - and similar - as the next's. Bravo to you for telling your stories, reaching out and especially for raising this kind of dilemma in a clear-eyed way.
Hope to pop in again soon - I hope you do keep this thread going. I too tend to be an somewhat sporadic poster, latterly mostly a reader skipping about seeing what's going on with friends or newbies, and picking up some wisdom and encouragement from this marvellous global community.
xx Vic