I think I get what you're saying Brenda.
Here is the 'deal' with people who have been repetitively abused or "victimized" as in how you were abused by your father growing up. Repetitively.
To "survive" you went into "self-preservation-mode". Now: granted how you self-preserved for a long time was not healthy as in you turned to a substance that altered your perception and you turned to a relationship that somehow made you feel better about yourself (for a time period, that is).
You take away the 'things' that you turned to to preserve yourself, and what are you left with? As unhealthy as those 'things' were, they were still 'things' that got you through somehow.
Now: without those things, you are in a sense stripped bare. Like, not totally bare, but sort of bare. This is a crucial time for you. Because it would be rather easy to find something else to get you back to self-preservation-mode. And you might just grab on to whatever gives you a 'feel good'....and sometimes those things don't pan out for your health and wholeness.
This is where therapy would be really really helpful. Not only to address the deep-seated issues from your childhood, but how to go forward from here; developing new coping mechanisms. Building a better self esteem.
However unhealthy it was/is, you somehow needed it to be about you. Now, you have realized it's not all about you. And while that is a shift in your modus operandi it really can be an awakening too to realize it's NOT all about you and really, thank the good Lord it's not. Because you can fill your life with other things that really ARE healthy and will help make you truly whole. (smile)