TropicalWinter.....if you were to take a poll.....most of the time (but not all), when there is a divorce or major split...family will side with their own. Family loyalty, family bonding, and all those kinds of dynamics.
I know it hurts. I have been through divorce...so, I know.....
It is just o ne of those realities of divorce. Just like the fact that most p eople take a financjal "hit" in divorce.
I believe that the most important thing, in regards to the in-laws is this---If it is at all possible...for the adults to detach from their hurt and anger, enough, so that the children can still have a relationship with their extended family (even if we don't care, much, for them).
Extended family is an important blessing for children, as they go through life.
Blessed is the child who has grandparents and cousins......
This is a different matter if the inlaws are toxic to the kids, of course.
Tropicalwinter..I do get what you mean about your feelings are very raw, right now.....