Thanks to all of you
My new job has actually been extremely boring (LOL). They just haven't quite figured out how to effectively use me even though the need is there ... it is hard to do the training and stuff to get someone going and my boss is so overwhelmed with work it is hard for her to find time to give me work (I relate to that!).
I've had problems this week (with no stress going on) with feeling very weak and like I might pass out at times. The Cartiologist called me yesterday and said that since Sunday I have had 9 a-fib events and been in a-fib 26% of the time. I'm staying home today and will call them back to see what the readings are today. I already took my walker to work and am leaving it there because I can't manage any real distance with out it this week. I had no a-fib for months after leaving the hospital, but now it is back.
I still feel positive! You know the damage I've done is the damage I've done. Not drinking will mean some will get better and most won't get worse. It's just hard to have to wait so long for tests and stuff to figure out the next steps. Work is pushing that I should apply for disability, but I can't afford to do that. When I actually can't do the job and they have to let me go I will find a way to deal with it.
The encouragement I have gotten on this thread that I am not a looser because of my past alcoholism has helped me to keep to the more positive rather than the regret and fear.
I've got a handle on the car thing now
I just had to learn some new landmarks from the car to the job and it just took longer than it would have in the past. But some of that is probably just age
Thank you all
