Thanks for sharing your experiences and advice!
I am considering attending an AA meeting but I'm still pretty sceptical. It's just because of personal experiences I strongly dislike the spiritual aspect of it. Unfortunately there's nothing like SMART recovery in my country and all the other groups are run by the church and therefore they are not for me. I know they help a lot of people but I have my very personal problems with them.
I forgot to add that I also see a therapist every week. My boyfriends support is of another nature, he tries to be there and motivate me when I feel down and he sometimes shares some of his experience and tells me what helped him in certain situations. It's not either that I feel like my sobriety relies on his. I just don't know if I could handle it right now, if he relapsed. But then again the list of things that could happen that could cause me to relapse is still quite long. It's my first attempt at sobriety and I'm just starting to really work on my recovery plan. I don't feel very stable the past two days, that's why I said I hope I won't drink tonight. I didn't feel like I could promise it to him today. My moods are a roller coaster and one moment I feel positive and determined, the next I can't think clearly and the reasons why I decided to quit don't make much sense to me.
We don't ever feel uneasy around each other and even though we haven't been dating for long yet, we were always very open and honest with each other, it's a deep understanding and love on both sides which makes me hope we'll find a way to go through this together.