I'm sorry you feel so bad. I've been in that position, where I know I could have done more. I always blame and beat up myself. I'm new here and I don't know your history, but here's my 2 cents. It is hard to put 100% into work when things at home are hard or unsupportive. Not an excuse, but an explanation and a reason to not beat yourself up. Its hard to be a mom and have a career. Its all really hard and we're not perfect and sometimes we mess up. When you mess up, fess up and them move on and do better tomorrow. That is all you can do. Try to let go of the yucky feeling and focus on kicking ass today. You'll feel better quickly once you get a couple kick ass days under your belt. If you feel you really need to, apologize to the person, but be careful not to shoot yourself in the foot. I'm sorry you feel this way because I've been there and it sucks.