Originally Posted by
Smarie78 
I will say what I once thought was clearly NPD in my partner, just didn't fit completely. He has shown a lot of empathy eventhough he continues to make my life a living hell. But...he has shown empathy and some messed up form of love. However....what I did find him to fit almost every single check box of, is Borderline Personality Disorder. Almost complete textbook case in fact. I think among Alkies you are more likely to find borderlines than NP. Just a thought and observation.
Hi Smarie,
BPD and NPD are so closely related that often there is overlap of NPD and BPD in one person.
The Diagnostical and Statistical Manual (DSM) is written as if everything fits into neat boxes, but reality is not always that simple.
https://www.clearviewwomenscenter.co...fferences.html ... reads ...
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"Based on overlapping symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are often mistaken for one another. The two personality disorders even have a rate of co-occurrence of about 25 percent, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). ...
Narcissistic Personality Disorder can exist on its own, but can also be found co-occurring with Borderline Personality Disorder. Mix and match five out of nine symptoms of NPD with five out of the nine symptoms of BPD, and you get someone who will likely be described at least as “difficult” or “high maintenance,” and who certainly is having a tough time in day-to-day life.
Both people with BPD and with NPD deal with an intense fear of abandonment. Enhancing that fear of abandonment is the fact that sustaining relationships with others in the face of these symptoms is a challenge to say the least. “Intense and stormy relationships” is, in fact, one of the characterizing symptoms of BPD.
In an article for Psychology Today, Susan Heitler, PhD, author and Harvard graduate, describes emotionally healthy functioning in the absence of BPD or NPD: “Emotionally healthy functioning is characterized by ability to hear your own concerns, thoughts, and feelings and also to be responsive to others’ concerns.”
In the world of the narcissist, that second part just isn’t present. Narcissists are unable to step outside of themselves to imagine any weight behind someone else’s opinion. This renders someone with NPD socially and emotionally ineffective, and affects their ability to maintain relationships.
On the other hand, those with BPD are often over-responsive to other’s concerns, especially when they are in the “idealization” phase of a relationship. But anger and resentment from putting the other’s concerns first inevitably cycles around, causing resentment, at which point the relationship will enter the “devaluation” phase.
The key to a healthy relationship, says Heitler, is finding the point where both parties’ concerns are taken into consideration. “When differences arise, socially effective folks are pros at finding win-win solutions because they routinely hear and take into consideration both their own and other people’s concerns,” she said."
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