I've been TO AA before and didn't really like it. I don't like getting in groups of people. I stayed sober last time because I decided I'm never drinking again and just never entertained any temptations I had. It's when I start entertaining drinking again is when it grabs ahold of me.
And I know Saul slaughtered many Christians but I figured he did that before he was saved. I did all this when I was supposedly saved which is why I struggle with my salvation. But I am still sober from alcohol and pornography. Oh yea did I mention that? I've also been addicted to porn for 16 years. My mind is corrupted beyond repair I feel sometimes.