Originally Posted by Oguin23

Hello this is my first post here. I joined because I am pretty much confused about my drinking. I'm 23 and have been getting drunk literally every night for about the past two years. I only drink in the evenings after work but I drink a lot. Probably anywhere from 6-10 shots of liquor and 2-4 beers a night. Here's the thing. I don't want to stop. I like going home and getting drunk to end my day. It makes everything better. I have anxiety and depression which I take medicine for. The med keeps me stable, but not really happy. It just keeps me functioning. Alcohol makes me happy. I can enjoy movies and tv when I'm drunk. Food tastes better. I can feel relaxed and get a good night sleep. I never have had a hangover once (not sure how) I live alone so I'm not hurting anyone by drinking. Ive never last a job because of it and have had the same steady job for about 4 years. I am paranoid about my health though so I went to the doc and got blood tests and everything was good, including liver and kidney function. I drink lemon and cucumber water all day and take a liver health supplement. The thing is, plain and simple, I don't want to accidentally kill myself one night. Ever since I started drinking my tolerance was higher than the typical person. When I'm done drinking at the end of the night I feel pretty in control. I can walk in straight line and function normally. I've never vomited once. But I have one of those little mini breathalyzer (not sure how accurate it is it's just a cheap one) and when I check my bac after what to me is just a few drinks, I'm already at .25-.30... I'm 6'2 and 170 lbs, and I know that a fatal amount of alcohol is .40-.50 for most people. There is a lot more of my story I'll have to put more when I have time, but I would like some advice. Thank you