Welcome. Your story is very similar to mine, and our drinking habits are about the same. It took me a very long time to admit that I had a real problem with alcohol. Up until a certain point, I admitted that I lost control from time to time, but wasn't ready accept that the real problem was alcohol dependence, which had developed from earlier drinking years that consisted of alcohol abuse, but not necessarily alcoholism. Here's the thing. There was a point in my life when I realized that even though I had a few drinking sessions during the week, and on the weekend--with sober days in between--I could not stop thinking of drinking. It occupied my thoughts constantly when I was sober. I finally decided to work a program of recovery for what I realized was my alcoholism (the drinking and thinking). For me this was AA, but others have found different routes to recovery. You will find much support here. Good luck to you, God bless, and keep posting.