Originally Posted by
romanerin2011 
I really do appreciate the kind words I somewhat feel guilty for feeling a little better. I feel like I committed murder but I just don't want this to define the rest of my life. I considered myself to be a decent man, I suppose decent men are capable of atrocities like this. I've just never felt this kind of pain and I'm the one who caused it. I feel maybe I should tell my wife of everything I've done as a drunk and this recent relapse but then very likely loose my entire new family over something that is not of me.
Please don't tell your wife about this. She has a month old baby. All it will do is hurt her. If you want to confess to someone go talk to a priest or someone in confidence. Or even better, go to AA, get a sponsor and work the steps thoroughly. This will not only give you a chance to discuss past transgressions (such as your recent one) in confidence, but also a chance to learn from it so that it's less likely to happen again.
You ARE responsible for your actions. The way to deal with this is learn from it. Take back responsibility. Get sober again, and work on your recovery so that you can find serenity and job in sobriety without reaching for alcohol and sex to make you feel better when life is getting rough (because, you know, if will get rough from time to time. That's just what it does. But you CAN get tools in your armoury so that you can accept life on life's terms without hiding under comfort blankets of feeding your ego).
You CAN do this, and be the best father that you can be.
Wishing you all the best as you climb back on the waggon and work on your recovery.
PS you do owe it to your wife to get checked for any STDs before you have any intimate contact with her though. Embarrassing as that might be for you. Please, please do that.