Berrybean

THIS!

You and only you can keep yourself living in the solution Brenda. Nostalgia over things that are bad for us serve us no purpose at all. Whether we're romanticising alcohol or a failed relationship. It's all counterproductive and detrimental to our recovery. I hope I don't sound harsh,but as someone who realised in sobriety that I've got some codie issues as well as alcohol ones, I've learned that allowing my mind to velcro itself to these things never makes for a good day or night. Generally, fir me and many others obsessing and compulsive thoughts and actions really do me no favours. As time went by I started recognising these for what they were and working my program to overcome them.

Stick to your decision and your resolve fir going no contact with the family. There are plenty of down sides to working through agencies. However, at the moment you can be grateful for oneof the few plusses it offers. Ie distance and the fact that you are not responsible for any individual client.

Maybe to counteract negativity you could write down for yourself what this experience has taught you,and what you resolve to do in order that you don't find yourself in this situation again .

And remember, just because your AV starts on whining and cajoling just because it thinks it's found a weak spot,doesn't mean that you have to go listening to the little gremlin.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB

Ps why not have a listen to some crowder. Run Devil Run springs to mind. Or Keep Me. Xx