What you have to say is pretty much the same as what a lot of newby alcoholics say, including me forty years ago at age 26, when I was just getting started at being a professional drunk. For me, alcohol was the magic key that made living bearable once again! I knew booze was hurting me, and that added to my reasons to drink because alcohol is also the magic cure for all the problems it causes. That is, until tomorrow. But then there is next evening to take the cure! Again, and again, and - - -
I think alcohol can be compared to an artificial fruit flavor, where once you taste the intense artificial stuff, the real fruit no longer tastes and smells good, and all desire to ever go back to what nature provides is just plain gone. So, with that in mind, alcohol is in some part a more powerful version of what your brain was doing for your feelings long before drinking, and your new job is to figure out how to get the wicked genie Alcohol back in its bottle and out of your life so your feelings of well-being will once again come from within YOU. I know a lot of alcoholics have very valid psychological problems that they self-medicate with alcohol, but those issues are best addressed while sober for awhile when thinking and memory are closer to normal. I had to go through that, and once I did, a good many of my reasons for drinking were taken care of and gone, no medication of any sort required.
I was just like all the other alcoholics who like the way alcohol removes discomforts caused by tiredness, being out of sorts, from frustration and being under pressure, dealing with nasty people, and all the other bitter things life throws at us. I won't give a big lecture about having to learn about "coping with adversity" - there are parts of being alive that just plain suck and there isn't thing one you can do about it except take it. Now, that's not to say there is nothing that can be done to avoid getting irritated and angry, or whatever, to begin with. I had never learned about "dodging bullets", looking first to prevent walking right into avoidable trouble, avoiding traps set by sadistic bosses, etc. For me, to eliminate the garbage that gave me reasons to seek comfort in alcohol, I first had to go back and pick up skill in skirting trouble. You know, if you don't like getting hit by cars, then get out of the middle of the road! Be an active part in protecting your own well-being to avoid preventable problems that subconsciously will become excuses to drink. Educating yourself about yourself is a good part of getting better. Becoming sober is not something someone else does for you, only you can do that for yourself. While doing that for yourself, to make things easier, you will very likely need some guiding input, sometimes harsh, and some "attaboys!" from those who've already gone through what you are facing. You already know how to do one thing that is a great help, which is staying physically fit. The way military establishments keep all those rambunctious hormone-driven adolescents out of trouble is by working them so hard they have no strength left to get into trouble, and they sleep soundly instead of seeking mischief. Very hard workouts release the body's own endorphines, which are excellent tranquilizers and cause mild euphoria that plays the role of a reward for doing things that are good for you. If you got 'em, use 'em!