Originally Posted by HTown

You mention he has become less attaractive to you and he seems more unhappy and tired. Funny how with sober eyes, we start to see how alcohol affects us. I personally got less and less happy, more tired. It was the alcohol.

You say you really wanted attention from this man, for him to notice you. Being attracted to emotionally unavailable people was something I really had to confront.. It was due to my parents being emotionally unavailable. Think back, was there someone like that in your past? Often we try to seek relationships where we can "get it right this time". Think long and hard about what this man represents to you. Is it to be taken care of? To be whisked away and held close? Is it exciting to be with a married man? Sex without commitment? Are you emotionally unavailable as well? I know I was when I drank. What does the idea of him represent to you? What longing is/was it filling?

You say he is a trigger. I think it is commendable you care about your client. You have a good heart, but you must take care of yourself first. Your sobriety is the most important thing here as I see it. Years of not putting myself first, well women do that all the time don't we. You are the prize here not the job, not this guy.