The attraction to emotionally unavailable men ( people) rationale:
" If I can make him notice me, like me, flirt with me, leave his wife for me or ______ then I am a worthy person, Im worth while, Im not invisible. Im empowered by the affection because I need someone outside of me to feel that I am worthy"
Alot of it circles back to self worth/confidence/codependency issues. For myself this all dated back to deep issues that began in my childhood.
I had to cut all ties and go NO CONTACT with him and make a commitment to no relationships for a period of time. Just work on me, put the focus on me, stop distracting myself with outside people. There are outside resources that can help as well. CODA meetings and private therapy helped me too.
Best wishes to you!