Originally Posted by
IHaveFaith2016 
I'm sorry you're feeling down. Great job on the 127 days, well done! I have had a boss like yours and what I realize now that I don't work with her, is that the issues were more about her than me. I too internalized it, tried to make sense of it and worried about it. Did me no good. The truth was she was an insecure woman and projected her insecurities onto others via talking down and micromanaging in order to stay in control. You know you are doing a great job and respected by others- because you mentioned that others have said that.
I know when things start going well for me (when I have had sober time under my belt)- I have self sabotaged because I didn't feel I deserved good or happiness. It's only now I can see that. For so many years I was numb from alcohol and just getting by. Now I have to face the feelings that led me to numbing them. I just say this because maybe your experiencing something similar as all of these feelings are surfacing.
Thanks for posting, I realize I'm not alone.
This response is extremely helpful, thank you! Sounds like maybe you can relate to the fact that I don't want to play these games, i just want to come here and do my job and as long as I am doing that, I want to be left alone. I am not real good at dealing with things like "insinuation", "projection", "insecurity" and secrecy. A lack of transparency makes me nervous. I am riddled with flaws but i am also a straight shooter and don't think I need to act on my insecurities - thanks to recovery one thing I can do is take a good look at myself, the good and the bad and the ugly and believe me, I've been about as ugly as one can be.
I have a much, much easier time accepting people for who they truly are, flaws and all. I don't like it when someone tries to make me believe they are someone they are not, especially when they try to appear harmless and are opposite.